Facing what we fear, is the hardest thing for us to do. But, it is also the most needed, healing, freeing and rewarding of anything we can do in our lives.
Nothing else even comes close.
Throughout my life I’ve had a recurring dream. A Grizzly Bear is chasing me and I have nothing in my hand to aid me. All I have is my wit. It takes place in the woods, his territory.
He can run 30 – 35 mph, I keep trying, but I cannot outrun him. And I never find anything else that works. So my “wits” are useless.
The Lord has shown me, that with my faith looking to, and trusting in, Him, that I must turn and face my fears head on. This I have been doing fear by fear, for a little over 2 years now.
Shame is a big Grizzly, and this one is out to kill and destroy.
It’s purpose is fueled by anger, it’s tools are it’s teeth and claws and are ready to shred and devour.
I found this advice:
Note this advice is only, for when a bear is making a predatory attack on you and is different for when a bear is acting in self defense out of fear of you:
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If any bear makes a predatory attack or you receive any attack from a black bear: Fight back. Fight a black bear attack or any predatory attack. If the bear is a black bear, or if you have determined that the bear sees you as food, your only chance of escape is to fight it or scare it away. Hit the bear with rocks, pots, pans, sticks or fists—anything handy. The odds may seem against you in a fight, but bears generally do not see humans as prey, and a bear that makes a predatory attacks is usually immature, starving, or wounded, and may easily be scared away if you hit it.
Remember King David saying he struck the bear and the lion and killed them when they attacked his lambs?
I was ashamed of what I was at birth. I came out of my mother’s womb, a boy. An unwanted boy. I was immediately rejected. We build up callouses to shield our sensitive hearts from pain. We build walls, locking a portion of our true hearts away behind doors.
For me my greatest pain came from the closest person in my life. I found through my life, it was safer to be close to people who are strangers. If they reject me the pain isn’t unbearable. Trying to go through life in isolation, but still having the need for intimacy, these don’t work together. So I lived in a dream world. And satisfied myself with that. But the need for intimacy with a real person doesn’t quit.
It’s the baby within us that is the motivation in our hearts which compels us to do things to try to fill that need for affection, or will stimulate the fleshly desires enough to take our minds off of the pain of lonely emptiness. The limbic system in our brain is the seat of our emotions, it is our heart. This is the baby within us, when a person is acting out of this, all reason may be out of reach and unseen. All the person knows at that point, is fulfilling whatever the desire is that is within its focus.
Hence – compulsive addictive behaviors will develop. Controlled by the baby within us. Self centered, and has to have it’s own way. And very hard to break.
The answer?
Heal the baby’s wound, so it can come out of hiding and grow up. Bit by bit, letting go of fear after fear. Then growth will naturally happen. But you have to be willing to encounter and feel, and then deal with the pain in your heart. And to forgive the one who hurt or disappointed you is a necessary part of the healing. Without forgiveness, you will be hanging on to the wound, and it will continue to effect you.