The ability to Fear, in and of itself is not bad. Like the ability to feel pain, the ability to fear, is actually a gift given to us from The All Wise Creator.

Who and What is good and not good to fear, as well as when it is good and not good to fear, is a subject worth understanding.

All things and times are in God’s hands, and God is in control of our circumstances. So why is it we fear our circumstances.? It is God we should fear, as He is the one who holds all things together by the power of His hand. He is the one who holds the power of the sea, and He alone sets it’s boundaries. He gives and takes away authority and power to men and places them in and removes them from authority over others. So why fear the authority of man? Instead fear the one who gives and takes away power and authority of men.

Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is right in God’s eyes, and you will not fear their authority. But even if you should suffer from some unjust decision’s of men, know that your faith is being tested by God, for it is He who is trying your heart. And even if man should punish you or even kill you when you are innocent of wrong doing, remember your times here are in His hands, just as eternity is in His hands. Man cannot kill your eternal soul. So do not fear man or circumstances, whatever they may be!

The purpose of fear is to give us an initial response to danger that our brain warns us of, without having to take the time to think about it. It’s an early response mechanism that bypasses the thinking part of our brain to give us an instantaneous response. This instantaneous response mechanism is designed to keep us from harming ourselves or the people or things we care about.

This fear is purposeful. So when a child touches a hot oven and brings pain to his hand, it is natural and appropriate for the child to remember this pain and to automatically avoid the oven from then on, or until he can understand and treat it with a deserved respect. He doesn’t have to think about it first, it’s an automatic response to perceived danger. This ability to fear is a gift given by God to help keep the child safe.

But say a child did not have this ability to fear. And he is running toward the hot oven that just yesterday caused him pain. Without that instant and direct reaction of fear, he would need to think about it first, and if the child is distracted, he may, without thinking first, go right back and put his hand on that same hot oven again. Owieee!

But as we grow and our brains take on enough learning, we come to understand that the oven is not always to be feared. We need not always veer away from it.

Fear is an initial reaction to a circumstance we encounter. If we are continuing to experience fear around a specific circumstance, to the point that we always avoid anything that even looks like it; we have not properly dealt with that fear and it has become an anxiety, a phobia.

One of the factors concerning the amount of anxiety a person feels over an issue can be related to how much pain was associated with his experience with the incident or incidents that he perceives as related to the fear.

Anxiety is an emotional response to a fear that a person dwells on and holds onto, past the intended time that God has for the initial fear.

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We can grow out of our fears by:
1 – Gaining an understanding how and why this hurt us.
This will give us some grounds to accomplish the 2nd step.
2 – Learn how to handle the person, thing, animal or circumstance, without getting hurt again.
3 – Determine whether or not the worst it can do is truly a cause for us to avoid it. Or to what level of avoidance is most appropriate to it’s actual impact on our lives. (Reality Check)

An example: We may have had a traumatic experience as a child with a dog. If we don’t face this fear and learn how to test dogs to see if they also are dangerous, we may hold this anxiety throughout our lives and be afraid of all dogs. Or if we had good experiences with other breeds of dogs but our bad experience was only with this one breed of dog, we may only be afraid of that breed of dog.

Say this was the case, where we are afraid only of dogs that look like this dog that caused the trauma. But we have a love for all other dogs except we have a hard time with this one type. Say also that we find out that this particular dog that caused us trauma was abused by a child that looked like us. Suddenly instead of having fear and anger over that dog, now through our understanding, we feel sorry for that dog, because we know that it was afraid of us and it was only reacting to us out of it’s own trauma. The impact of that wound on us is then superceded by our love for dogs. Love that is applied to the specified situation, displaces the fear that resides there. Applied love is “perfect love.” So, when we apply this understanding, our heart that loves dogs, goes out to that dog who hurt us. This initiates creative reasoning in our minds that wants to find a way to free that dog from it’s prison of fear. Maybe that dog is facing the death penalty for it’s attacking us. And so we begin a project of helping that dog to learn that we are not it’s enemy and it has nothing to fear from us. We begin a program of winning it over by acts of love towards it. All the while looking to keep ourselves reasonably safe from it being able to re-attack us.

We have now learned to be set free from our prison of fear, anxiety and hate. And we may want to teach others to be able to do the same. Applied love is the perfect love that casts out fear.

At this point we can actually say:
Thank you God for the lesson you taught me here.
This is another step in our healing. As anxiety and thankfulness operate out of the same area of the brain. And they can’t both operate at the same time.

Anxiety’s motive is fear. While the motive of thankfulness is love. Love drives out fear. So also thankfulness, when activated by the will of our choosing to do so, will drive out anxiety and not give fear a pathway through our minds.

Sometimes, the reason people can’t forgive, is because they are unwilling to see the good hand of God behind the hurtfulness of the wound they carry. So when we understand that the wound was really meant for our good, even though the one who actually hurt us didn’t have good intentions, we then regard them as but a tool, or scalpel in God’s hands. They don’t get the credit for the good. And if they intentionally tried to hurt us, they “deserve” punishment. But it was God who brought us in connection to the one who hurt us; yes, God’s intention was for us to learn something invaluable for our good. So when we thank Him for that experience, and see Him as a Great Surgeon and don’t merely focus on the scalpel; our thanking Him for that experience will set us free from anxiety. And then Loving the person that harmed us, will set us free from fear. If we can do these, we can accomplish anything in life! See why He is called the Only Wise God!

Facing what we fear, is the hardest thing for us to do. But, it is also the most needed, healing, freeing and rewarding of anything we can do in our lives.

Nothing else even comes close.

Throughout my life I’ve had a recurring dream.  A Grizzly Bear is chasing me and I have nothing in my hand to aid me. All I have is my wit.  It takes place in the woods, his territory.

He can run 30 – 35 mph, I keep trying, but I cannot outrun him.  And I never find anything else that works. So my “wits” are useless.

The Lord has shown me, that with my faith looking to, and trusting in, Him, that I must turn and face my fears head on. This I have been doing fear by fear, for a little over 2 years now.

Shame is a big Grizzly, and this one is out to kill and destroy.

It’s purpose is fueled by anger, it’s tools are it’s teeth and claws and are ready to shred and devour.

I found this advice:

Note this advice is only, for when a bear is making a predatory attack on you and is different for when a bear is acting in self defense out of fear of you:
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If any bear makes a predatory attack or you receive any attack from a black bear: Fight back. Fight a black bear attack or any predatory attack. If the bear is a black bear, or if you have determined that the bear sees you as food, your only chance of escape is to fight it or scare it away. Hit the bear with rocks, pots, pans, sticks or fists—anything handy. The odds may seem against you in a fight, but bears generally do not see humans as prey, and a bear that makes a predatory attacks is usually immature, starving, or wounded, and may easily be scared away if you hit it.

Remember King David saying he struck the bear and the lion and killed them when they attacked his lambs?

I was ashamed of what I was at birth.  I came out of my mother’s womb, a boy.  An unwanted boy.  I was immediately rejected.  We build up callouses to shield our sensitive hearts from pain.  We build walls, locking a portion of our true hearts away behind doors.

For me my greatest pain came from the closest person in my life.  I found through my life, it was safer to be close to people who are strangers.  If they reject me the pain isn’t unbearable.  Trying to go through life in isolation, but still having the need for intimacy, these don’t work together.  So I lived in a dream world.  And satisfied myself with that.  But the need for intimacy with a real person doesn’t quit.

It’s the baby within us that is the motivation in our hearts which compels us to do things to try to fill that need for affection, or will stimulate the fleshly desires enough to take our minds off of the pain of lonely emptiness.  The limbic system in our brain is the seat of our emotions, it is our heart.  This is the baby within us, when a person is acting out of this, all reason may be out of reach and unseen.  All the person knows at that point, is fulfilling whatever the desire is that is within its focus.

Hence – compulsive addictive behaviors will develop.  Controlled by the baby within us.  Self centered, and has to have it’s own way.  And very hard to break.

The answer?

Heal the baby’s wound, so it can come out of hiding and grow up.  Bit by bit, letting go of fear after fear.  Then growth will naturally happen.  But you have to be willing to encounter and feel, and then deal with the pain in your heart.  And to forgive the one who hurt or disappointed you is a necessary part of the healing.  Without forgiveness, you will be hanging on to the wound, and it will continue to effect you.