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Lisa’s Heart Felt Testimony 9/8/15
A testimony to God’s goodness in my life:
by Kirk Osgood
Most all of my life, I didn’t really feel like I fit in. I would meet people, girls/women, where the relationships gave me hope for love and companionship in the beginning, but always seemed to end up with the girl friend, woman, rejecting me. Or in other relationships I would feel like I didn’t fit in.
Without me realizing it, my heart was closing off to real love. I wanted it, very much, but the more I got to know a person, the more my heart would automatically close the door to emotional intimacy. Which left sex as my only means of intimate affection.
I was rejected at birth, and suffered another Mother wound at the age of 3, I don’t remember having a one on one conversation with either my mom or my dad. I had people around me, but I was alone, in a vacuum. It was easier to be alone by being away from people than the alone-ness I felt when people were around. My best friend was the woods behind my house. I never seemed to quite fit in most all of my life. I walked with my head hanging low and couldn’t look people in the eye longer than a second or so.
However this all made me into a really deep thinker, I was never bored, I had a world in my head that was fascinating! I was a real life “Walter Mitty” if you’ve seen the movie.
A lonely existence, but livable.
At my 21st Birthday, I decided that I should become – “Good”
But I found, while even though “wanting” to be Good, I wasn’t any better than before. I got depressed and felt hopeless
I began reading a bible.
I usually seem to start at the back of Magazines when I pick them up. So I began reading the book of Revelation. I thought it was pretty cool… deep, waaay deeep, just what I loved!
It cross referenced me to Daniel…
Wow, this is deep too!
After reading a bit I perceived in my spirit, that these 2 books, though written hundreds of years apart, were inter-related so deeply in such a way that man was not it’s author!
God wrote this!
He’s real. Really Real!!!
He made me, so He must Love me!
He knows everything, and is limitless in what He can do. So He knows what’s best for me. And is able to communicate with me!
Well then the best, most intelligent thing for me to do is give Him my life and find out what He wants for me!
So I did!
I crossed the Red Sea! My life did a 180, a complete turn around. I was really alive, I was happy and had bounce in my step and anticipated good coming with each day! I was filled with the Spirit of the Living God! He taught me His Scripture Himself. 1 Jn 2:27.
I called a Jesus Freak, an old friend I knew from High School who found God. This was back in 1975. I loved being in Church, singing worship songs swaying to the music, with my arms around whoever was on my right and left.
Ohhh, this was great! I fit!! I had found home!
Before, I was hung up on woman as being my savior from a life of loneliness. Now I was free from being so needy. I had everything I needed in God. In fact no one else can fill that need to be loved, only Him. Now being filled with God, with His Spirit, with Love itself; I was free to give Love, without “needing” anything in return! What a Joy!
But for how long? You might ask.
Chapter 2:
The Fall
Followed by 3:
38 years wandering in the wilderness.
Chapter 4: The present
Renaissance II – 2nd chance at crossing the Jordan and Driving the enemies out of my inheritance and then helping my brothers to possess their land completely. Bringing Peace to the land – The Double Portion! As the last outpouring shall be greater than the first! 😉
Lisa
September 8, 2015 at 5:43 pm Edit
After a morning of extreme stress, i was truely in full crisis mode. I recived a text message from a unknown number regarding an invitation to this post.. i didn’t know why i was compelled to call the sender immediately. My call was answered by Kirk. He asked how i was doing, (i am an extremely private person) again i was compelled to be honest and tell Kirk what was wrong. He immediately prayed with me, for a resolution to my issue and to have my faith strengthened.
After the prayer and phone call, the issue was resolved. However, the resolution of the issues, isn’t why im commenting or why my faith was strengthened. Kirk has not seen me at church in over a year, so long his number wasn’t transferred to my new phone. Yet, when i was in tears crying to God, for help, and asking “where are you now?” ” can you even hear me?” ” this is too much for me to handle”. That’s when i got Kirk’s, text.
It’s not just Faith at this point. It’s knowledge, I know, God can hear me!